Updates and Apologies..again

Howdy all,

not sure who is still stopping by because I have been lackluster at best at updating this blog as of late but I did want to pop in today to share a few new things.  For one I am back on track with my trainer.  While I will mourn FitOrbit's easy to use platform, things have mostly transitioned well with my trainer Elizabeth on the new platform (TotalCoaching).  Much like FitOrbit you have to find the right person and price point for you.  The TotalCoaching app is actually working and while on my phone I can't log my meals super easily (or at all--if you know how to do this let me know lol) tracking the workouts is super easy and it has animated videos for 99 percent of them so that if I was confused on how an exercise should look I don't have to waste time searching on youtube to figure out what my body should be doing.  That doesn't mean I nail them all but I'm trying.  I was pretty good on food but getting better there.  And the last two weeks I actually made it to the gym three and four times respectively.  It feels great when I'm there even though my weight is going up and down.  I am consistently forty pounds down but there's a weird flux of those other ten pounds I shed that may just have been lax gym time.  Who knows but I am working on getting it all back off again.  Odder still, even though my scale and I are perpetually fighting my clothes and I are doing another tango.  There are days when all of my size 14 things feel too flipping big and then a day or so later things are good to go again.  And then the size 8/10 workout pants I bought to prep for the winter shed (none of the workout pants I like are actually available mid winter when I might be losing weight so I bought them early) legitimately fit and aren't snug.  It's seriously bizarre in my closet right now.

So now that you have been thoroughly brought up to date here's something else I've been debating.  As I noted in my last post I haven't relaxed since the end of June and my nifty Senegalese twists are making it so that I mostly don't care about that.  Which led me to think maybe I'm super done with the relaxer movement right now.  My hair loves me and I've been mean to it lol.  My stylist before the move kept encouraging me to go natural because my new growth was cute curly, I imagine like my nieces' hair because I never paid much attention to her and just encouraged the new dose of creamy crack .  When I take these down I'll be around 20 or 22 weeks post I think and I can either relax and see what my hair looks like nearly half a year with no relaxer, I can texlax but that's not high on my list, or I can commit to transitioning at this stage.  I am leaning towards the later to be honest.  There has been some sort of chemical on my hair since I was 11 and I would like to see if my hair can get past my shoulders again and be healthy.  No one seems to have a major issue with that, because of course I have asked many a friend and family member about that.  The issue, if there is one, is if I should just cut off the relaxed hair and start fresh--still protective styling with twists or something--or if I should just learn how to do the two step hair dance.  There are pros and cons to each for me so I would love to know your thoughts about moving out of the relaxer phase of my life.  Since I've embraced all of this change and wellness and new experiences for my life prior to turning 40, this seems like it could be another positive change but I'm of course anxious and wondering what to do first.

So if you've made it this far, I'm going to ask for your thoughts in the comments but also include a poll if I can figure out how to put it back in here lol.  Hope all is well with you and as life begins to slow down I will try to get back here more often.

You can vote once a day if you really want to lol and you can pick more than one answer during each vote.

What should I do with my hair?

Keep relaxing with the long stretches

Keep relaxing but don't stretch past 16 weeks

Nix the relaxer and chop it off

Nix the relaxer and grow it out first

Something else entirely

Poll Maker

Updates

Okay everyone.  I realized I haven't updated things in a while.  My last relaxer was in June not April lol.  It was a few weeks before my trip to Amsterdam because I got my hair twisted before I left.  The workout count is SHOT.  I won't try to fix that right now but I will keep a count some kind of way for the workouts till the end of the year.  FitOrbit which I loved so much has gone kaput but my trainer and I are still working together through Total Coaching now.  We'll see how this platform compares as my new plan starts tomorrow.  I am over my not sure I want to be smaller thing as well.  So life is okay.  My last hair detangling process was more complicated than I wanted it to be but it was because I left my hair up much longer than it should have been.  These will be out at the latest by mid November.  I'll relax my hair then OR whack off everything but the new growth.  There's lots of it, really lots of it.  How goes things with you all?

Lessons Learned In Silence

So it's been a good long while since I posted something new.  I have been working out when my energy and brain matter allowed it.  My hair is back in twists and I'm considering putting in set three to get through October and November.  I need to do a massive cleaning and get the clothes I've collected over to Goodwill or the Women's shelter.  So yes I've been fine but still not quite fine in the same vein.

I just realized what I was struggling with over the last week or so.  I've been in the midst of an identity crisis as it were.  My life is sort of portioned out into sections.  There's work, there's fitness and well being which usually overlaps with hair, there's my relationships and then there's taking care of mom.  As I've traveled, lost weight, and making different kinds of inroads at work I realize just how much energy has been invested in maintaining those sections.  Now some of that is unnecessary as I know work and family could blend more than it does but I like my monkeys in different barrels.  And my health and wellness stuff is noticed by people at work so there's no way to hide it there anyhoo.  My relationships well that's different.  I live squarely in the Bible belt and anything that's a little bit different isn't tolerated super duper well so I'm not willing to explore too much openness there. 

Having said all of that the thing that matters most to my fitness is looking at myself and my body and giving myself permission to no longer be a Lane Bryant girl.  That may sound crazy but I remember the momentary psychological trauma that came when I could no longer shop in Lerner or NY&Co which used to be a sister store to Lane Bryant--maybe it still is but I haven't seen them in a while.  When I was out of the 12s and had to find pants that accommodate my rear end and belly and the like.  I mentioned my shock and awe when I went jean shopping because I had to abandon my 18s and 20s and thought it was time for a 16 but I had slid down into 14 without noticing.  Well I've been there for a while and I'm holding somewhere between 45 and 50 pounds down depending on the day.  As I was looking for a bra that one of the models I primarily know from LB had released as part of her own lingerie line I realized that I legitimately hadn't considered where I would be shopping for clothes when the 14s no longer fit.  LB doesn't stock 12s as best I can tell and my 12 is likely to still be curvier than Old Navy intends.  In that moment I realized that I was probably doing a little self sabotage in my efforts because while I am not at the weight I would like to be at for certain there is comfort in knowing I can walk into Lane Bryant and buy whatever I want with some fair bit of safety and assurance.  Healthy is the goal but the brain has to follow the body and I hadn't given myself permission to be smaller yet.

I'm working on that now though and I hope recognizing the issue will help.  How are all of you doing?

So I'm Finally Back

I knew it had been a while since I posted but didn't realize it had been two months.  Work was kicking my pretty little butt and even with my spectacular vacation in the middle of it I came back to yet more work.  I won't bore you with the details of that right now but there are things to say.

So as of my last post I had permed my hair and was dealing with super duper shortness as some breakage had happened due to some uneven relaxers over the last year when I was still going to the shop.  I waited three weeks to get some Senegalese twists put in 1) to give my hair a chance to recover from the relaxer and 2) switched up the braids because while I wanted a break the micros felt like they were just too hard on my hair.  They took longer than I thought they would to install but they got me through my week in Amsterdam and the rest of my teaching and work this summer.  I took them down yesterday about a week later than I wanted to but earlier than I had planned because the shop was open today and could get me in to redo them.  Last night I started a prepoo around 7 and then the lazy hit me after the joy of the take down and eating dinner lol.  I washed with my normal mix of Moroccan Oil and Organix products, conditioned with MO, Aphogee and Mizani products before deep conditioning with Dr. Miracles.  I didn't flat iron it as that seemed like it would be a wasted just for a length check.  I did blow it out and here's a photo of me before I made it to the salon.

Not sure if you can completely tell at this point but it's longer than it was six weeks ago when it went up but it wasn't amazing growth of which my hair has never seen.  More importantly though there wasn't breakage.  Just some normal hair shed since my hair hasn't been combed in over a month.  I was actually still planning to be at the shop based on the last install but the owner did my hair this time and she is just much faster than everyone else.  Plus my scalp isn't feeling super sore at the moment either which is always a plus.  Here's a photo of the after.

Unlike the hair cutting process it doesn't matter what length I say to make my braids they end up being down my back but the size is good and I'm happy.  I won't look like super gray hair lady during my conference call in the morning lol.

On the workout front I've been slacking since tennis lessons ended and need to get back on it.  Tomorrow after the call and another meeting I think it will be movie, gotta see Straight Outta Compton, and then off to the gym and maybe tennis if the girls are meeting.  I also got my pinup photos taken and back in the absence, wow I've been away a while damn it lol.  So here's one of those too.  What have you been up to?

Setbacks and Reboots and Moving Forward

Okay folks I haven't written in a while but that's totally my fault.  Life has been kicking my butt with the amount of work I've been doing.  My hair I thought was taken care of since it was up but apparently the braids were too tight in places as there was some breakage.  Not so much that I'm distraught but more than I would like.  Some areas grew like weeds but that has created an uneven neckline so it will need to be trimmed on Wednesday when I go in.  My plan after a lot of conditioning and protein and the like yesterday is to relax tomorrow afternoon.  I might have waited longer but I'm still teaching and on Friday I'm flying out for another pinup photo shoot.I was going to rebraid my hair in a few weeks before I take off for my first real vacation in a month of Sundays (don't you love old southern woman speak) just so I didn't have to deal with it but was planning on box braids or larger individual braids instead of the micros.  It again didn't do as much damage as it could and my hair feels oddly thick even if it's not down to my butt lol.  There is quite a bit of new growth that I need to take care of as well so we'll see how that goes.  If I'm not loving the hair life post vacation and work conference then I'll take down the braids and do a massive chop of whatever isn't super straight.

With all the hair out I can step on the scale and have a more accurate reading.  Turns out I was about right about how much weight they were adding to the scale because as of this morning I am officially 51 pounds down since I started working with Elizabeth at FitOrbit.  I can't say what weight I was at when I took the original photos but I was in a size 18/20 or XXL or XXL in vintage clothing at the time.  Now I'm in 12s and 14s and no bigger than an XL in some of the vintage clothing designers I love.  I actually shed a bunch of clothing that I can't wear anymore and my closet looked sad until I hung up the vintage clothing and now it has its own little section in my wardrobe lol. 

I'm very excited about the vacation even though I'm slightly nervous about going alone.  However, I've vacationed in the US alone so this shouldn't be too much worse.  I'm paranoid at all times and overly cautious.  I've gotten some good travel advice and now can't wait to catch my plane and wake up in another country.  And I get to do it again a few weeks later for a conference but this one will be more locally out of the country, just crossing the northern border.  Oh oh and I got a research grant so I can move forward with the studies I wanted to do this summer.  Yeah for me.  So yeah the hair thing not so much fun BUT the rest of my life is going well.

When I get back from the photo shoot, tennis lessons start and I'm thrilled that I can take my ridiculous amount of tennis knowledge and make myself look totally incompetent while I work out.  I'll try to take a photo or short video to share my pain with all of you.  What's up in your world ladies and the occasional gent?

Fitness Friday: New Routine!

I have been sporadic again I know.  So have my workout routines.  I don't think I've updated that number along the side in a minute.  Damn I should do that.  Anyway, as I mentioned in my last post my weight has been hovering in the almost 50 pounds last range for weeks.  Part of that due to stress and not hitting the gym as much as I could be it felt like I was plateauing a bit.  I mentioned it to my trainer and we are switching it all up.  Today was my first day of the rebooted routine and I LOVED it.  One or two moves I need to perfect and I need to get used to actually jogging instead of just walking briskly.  Tried it today and both impressed and disappointed myself.  I haven't run in a long time for more than a few seconds so improvement there but I actually made it through three cycles of my walk, jog, sprint cardio time before my body said no mas.  We're going to tweak a few things and head back at it.  I'm a happy girl who is excited to get back in sweat mode.  Yippee and I signed up for tennis lessons so hopefully that doesn't you know kill me or more aware of how limited my sports skills are lol.  How are you doing?

It's Been a Long, Shouldn't have left you...

...without a dope beat to step to, step to. 

Okay so you haven't had a substantive post from me in a while and I apologize for that.  End of one semester and almost immediate beginning of another one tends to make me MIA.  The braids are still holding up well.  I washed my hair finally about a week ago and lost another braid but again it was one that maybe shouldn't have been braided as there was very little hair in it.  My plan for the moment is to leave it in until June 13th or 14th depending on how many days I participate in the Relay for Life walk.  Because they aren't braided all the way to the end I doubt it will take as long as normal to take them down.  Actually now that I think about it they will come down on the 13th because I need to wash my hair really good along with a sure to be necessary massive detangle.  Sometime between the 15th and 17th I need to relax my hair because on the 19th I'm leaving for the weekend to do round two of my pinup photos.  I will be at least 40 pounds lighter but between the weather, my mood and inability to keep motivation for the gym I can't promise it will be 50 as I had hoped or even the 72 I was insane enough to shoot for in six months.  I am not about that life lol. 

Other than the few lost braids my hair is holding up well and I've enjoyed having my hair tucked away.  It has helped with the gym in the sense that I wasn't trying to depuff my hair every week but I feel like the sweat is pouring down my face when I go.  I've left the gym a few times and been like okay this is a hot mess lol.  My students and coworkers have loved them as well so I may put them back in closer to my vacation so I don't have to tinker with my hair at all while I'm out of the country. 

I've also started decluttering my house and have rid myself of a lot of clothes that just don't fit or that I have no desire to wear.  I'm still working on that though cause I have a lot of crap.  Then will come books and the like.  And I've been working on my green thumb.  I was very proud of my African violets like two weeks ago and then yeah they no like me no more.  Here are some photos of what is in the works on my dresser.

 African violet a few weeks ago lol

Money tree a few weeks ago

Money tree, calla bulb, calla lilies and repotted African violet

Product Review: Just Be Carefree!

This post is overdue but with the end of the semester and beginning of summer school (tomorrow) I've been a little tied up.  So as I'm mentioned to you before I sometimes get products for free from Influenster to review honestly.  It's a good gig and has introduced me to a few new products I love and wouldn't have known about otherwise.  Well, they sent me a sample of Carefree panty liners about six weeks ago which I can admit to being a little hesitant to try out.  I'm familiar with Carefree and they make good products but Always are my people lol.  When I received the box I have to say that hesitation grew.  The box was TINY which meant the product would likely be small as well.  Granted I'm on a weight loss kick but I kind of like having a liner that covers more than the dead center of my underwear which is why I have stuck with Always as they have an extra long liner that accommodates the rounder behind legion. 

This is the size of the liner when it's sealed--which hey is great because you can tuck it in your purse easily.  I was nervous to put it politely and that nervousness didn't diminish when I opened up the liner.

The next two photos are of the liner on it's on and next to my normal liners.

But I'm a trooper and after shaking my head in disbelief for a day or so I tried them out.  Due to the aforementioned weight loss they were an ok fit in my size 6 undies, not at all great in the size 7s.  They held up well over the course of the day and were kind of unobtrusive which I guess is the point of them.  I don't know if I like them enough to forgo the Always liners at least not in their current size and thickness.  A little more length and padding and this would be a great go to product.