Middle of the Night Wash Day Recap

I hate when I fall asleep in the late afternoon because I'm always up longer than I plan on being whenever I wake up.  Wash day went pretty smoothly.  I prepooed over night which my hair seems to like after swim class.  Can I just say I really love swimming too?  If I could make sure my hair never got wet I would go more than once a week but it's a nice change up from being on the treadmill or bikes.  Whenever I can master the whole breathing to the side thing then I will be back to being part fish lol.  Anyhoo, I added almost everything back to my wash routine this week.  Not because I had to but because I am considering getting a relaxer this week ahead of my line's anniversary on Saturday.  I could wait until the next round of swim classes are over but I haven't stretched to 16 weeks on purpose ever and I'm slightly worried about what my hair will look like by the end of that time frame.  I tried to do some snooping about swimming a little over a week of a relaxer but everyone has different info.  Some say never do swim at all if it has been less than two weeks.  The Motions website said do what you want just be sure to wash and condition your hair as soon as you can after you get out of the chlorine.  Which I normally do along with wearing a bit of conditioner into the pool with me.  I may try double capping this time to see if that aids in the water staying away but the cap I swam in on Saturday stayed on my giant head with no issues so I'm kinda in love.

I deep conditioned a little longer than I had to and after washing it out and t-shirt drying a bit I did the now weekly LOC method and my hair felt great as I set it on flexi rods.  It should be dry at this point but I won't mess with it at all till I gotta go to the dentist.  Hopefully the expected snow isn't as bad as it was projected to be.  I need to get these cavities fixed so I can get this crown put on.  I so need to work on taking care of all of me seriously.

How are you folks?  What say you about swimming and fresh relaxer?

French Open Baby

No I'm not having children and honestly nothing much is going on here because it's storming yet again.  I'm VERY glad that my area has not been hit by the tornadoes but over the last three weeks or so I've been on edge every time we have prolonged storms that a clap of REALLY long thunder is really the wind build up from a tornado.  My grass looks a mess but so does everyone else on the block.  Prolonged rains plus not a lot of drying out time in between means healthy green quick growing lawns.  Ahh well.

It's time for another major in the tennis world and I'm so excited.  This is the only time the insomnia works in my favor cause I'm up in time to see a lot of the matches live.  Two people I don't like are playing and unfortunately one looks like she may win her match.  I have no real justification to dislike Sloane Stephens OR Victoria Azarenka other than they are kind of annoying to me.  Decent players, quickly beloved by the tennis world because they are so friendly and so outgoing but are just meh to me.  Granted it's neither one of their faults entirely.  Tennis banks on media darlings and leaves the old more reserved players in the background because they will win regardless and there's nothing to build around on them.  Even though they will milk a potential story with them too.  I'm very solidly Team Serena so I hope she wins even though she's done better than she did last year already so provided that Maria Sharapova goes out before she does Serena should still be number 1 in the world regardless of the win here based on WTA's yearly points thing.  I have to come to respect Sharapova just like Kobe Bryant.  Neither will ever be my favorite humans but they are good hustlers and have a real drive to win.

Baby It's 10 AM & I haven't slept again

This insomnia is so annoying.  I sleep great for a few days and then boom back in the middle of not sleeping fits.  And then I get tired in the middle of the day and if I fall asleep I'm not waking up until dinner time which just continues the overnight wakefulness crap.  Anyhoo, it's given me a good chance to read a bunch of blogs and watch more weird movies.  I tried to read A Casual Vacancy because the dusk jacket seemed very interesting.  Couldn't make it a page in before I got bored and it could have been because I was all read out after speeding through all the Hunger Games books.  Review of those will be posted in here cause yeah I keep forgetting.

In preparation for the move, we've been cleaning and dumping things.  I swear I saw mouse poop in a corner but haven't seen a mouse.  While I will stomp a bug in a heart beat, furry things that move but shouldn't be in my house creep me out.  I'm using a bunch of trap free repelling things right now even though I did buy traps I just don't want to use them.  I don't want the little rodent to die I just want it to leave before I do.  Oh and mom is on a tear with sorting things to keep and sell and has found a bunch of old things that I really thought were lost.  Like this bedspread that she made for me when I was like 6 or 7.  She couldn't find Orange Blossom who was my favorite and she didn't really like the ones that were available in the other characters so she really did outfit my poster bed with valances, dust ruffles and the aforementioned bedspread.  It's a little too beat up for me to hop I can use with my own daughter one day but I'm going to try to have the center salvaged and made into a center piece of a blanket.  Isn't it cute?  Okay gonna go back to surfing the net and looking at things I'm sorting through (oh yeah and prepooing my hair).  Book review is after the jump.

What do tornado warnings and insomnia have in common?

Honestly not a flipping thing.  Except I was up a bit after my workout and then decided my hair was feeling gooey from the sweat so I'd washed it.  Actually I used a clarifying shampoo first to get rid of build up and then was doing my air dry when the phone rang.  Yeah not my cell phone which could have been random scary things but the house phone which is NEVER good.  Turns out it was just the city warning us that the storm headed our way could produce tornadoes.  The air dry kept going at that point because I was preparing to hide and/or flee the domicile if necessary.  Turns out wasn't necessary as the warning ended without any issues.  Flash flood warning replaced it and now even that is tapering off.  What I discovered while I was waiting is that the back of my hair is doing the weird breaking thing again but only in the mid section again.  The hair from my crown to about mid way down is growing just fine and is covering up that spot.  There feels like there is random new growth there so I'm happy about that especially since for a second it felt like knots--nope super curly hair growing in strong.  Since I got my second wind with the working out and washing my hair as needed not just as scheduled I'm going to be more diligent about nursing that area like I did the front right edge after it broke off as it's growing back in nicely and has almost covered all the hair that was lost.  The back always requires more effort and since I would seriously have a mild heart attack (ok maybe not) if I had to cut the sides I will just recommit to doing a better job.

I didn't take any before or after pictures since it was spur of the moment and then yeah storming lol.  But I did take a photo of the hair loss during detangling because virtually none was lost in the shower.  Here's the photo.

And minor miracle--had a great day with mom after crappy conversations with a mover.  But that's why I started talking to her so I guess I can't complain too much.  We actually talked some things through and if she really embraces what she said she would then we all might be headed on a good path.  Yeah crappy mover guy.  And after that we remade the dinner from last night cause she loved it.  And then we watched Tombstone cause she had never seen it with Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday and she fell in love with him before it was over.  Val is seriously amazing in Tombstone so if you haven't seen it PLEASE WATCH IT.  After you watch it tell me how you like it and just how much you want to jump 1993 Val Kilmer's bones.  Ahhh, you're no daisy at all if you don't lol.

The workout was good.  I really am liking the boxing.  Good full body workout and I get to destroy a punching bag.  Was a good day overall.  Now it's time to watch The Hunger Games since I ravished the books.  I still haven't put up my review.  I will soon.

Oh and the recipe is for a Garlicky Lemony Shrimp.  Super easy.

Try this quick way to make the best shrimp.

Melt a stick of butter in the pan. Slice one lemon and layer it on top of the butter. Put down fresh shrimp, then sprinkle one pack of dried Italian seasoning. Put in the oven and bake at 350 for 15 min. Best Shrimp you will EVER taste:)

Share this to your wall and you'll always know where to find it: www.facebook.com/SharonsPamperedChefConnection

Working Out is Hard to Do....... & So Are Two Strand Twists

You should definitely sing the title of this post to the tune of Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.  And after you're done you can keep reading.  I get to officially update the workout count today and I need to get back to the daily workout.  I always feel better afterwards as I mentioned and this other thing happens lately that I completely forgot about in the stress and hubbub of deciding on which job to take and what to do if a shinier opportunity presented itself.  Even though every fiber in my being kept me lazy and my sleep cycle is still out of whack (clearly which is why this post is going up at 5:30 in the morning) I ran a few errands and got my official offer letter from my new job today.  I ran to the library and got a few books as well as returning the final two books of the Hunger Games series.  The books were great even though the third was uneven and felt slow to me in comparison to the first two but I'll save that for another post.  Part of my library run was to grab a book of stories that I was hoping were like the ones my father told my younger brother and I when we were little.  They fascinated us and we could only remember snippets of them when we tried to compare notes.  After asking one more time if anyone knew anything about the bits and pieces I could recall I got lucky.  Turns out they really were African folk tales and there are a LOT of them.  The main character is Anansi the Spider who is periodically an insect, man, or anything else as the story dictates and depending on which author's interpretation you end up with.  There are also stories with Ananse which seems like it would be a subtle difference but that's the volume I got from the library and how Anansi got stories to the world is totally different so I went with the version closest to the one I remembered and sent some to my nieces and got a few for me too.  They are kind of like Aesop's fables but with more settings in Africa and told from a slightly different tack.  LOVED them and I hope my nieces will too.  Anansi and the Box of Stories is the one I heard all the time in case you're interested.  You can find a few of the stories online too if you have small people you want to impress as you commit the somewhat short moral tales to memory and whip them out like you are the best thing ever.

I also ran to the grocery store and got some lemons for a recipe I saw on facebook that looks super simple and should go well with some pasta or something maybe a nice salad.  Not sure on that but as my two weeks of lazy only netted one pound weight gain I'm going to try to keep it light up and up the working out again to see if I can turn my mostly better eating habits and combination of working out to weight loss.   I have to say though I need some different work out socks or supportive thin shoes.  I got blisters on the balls of both of my feet from the working out.  They just starting peeling and right now they feel like they are kind of on fire which isn't particularly helpful.  Beyond that I feel great.  I figured out that I can do more of my own random stepping around the board and it still count.  Actually when I did the side to side steps and front to back instead of just up and down I moved faster.  It ended up meaning a little more than 100 steps greater than my normal twenty minute frame and was 2152 today.  A little more than 100 steps a minute so I'm happy with that too.  And the rhythm boxing which somewhat frustrates me also starts and immediate burn and toning around my waist.  Even if I don't do the step everyday I may need to figure out a way to keep that up.

I did twist my hair yesterday after I washed it.  I think my hair wants more twists than the four I tried to do and doesn't really like the flexi rod for the ends.  I may pin curl them next time because I keep ending up with semi wavy hair with really flipped ends.  The twists that were so well defined before were with assistance.  I need to work on nailing that on my own for when I have spur of the moment wash sessions.  My hair feels good and there wasn't much in the way of hair loss in the shower or during the detangle.  Just need to make sure I moisturize and seal it later on and then pin up my ends.

Have a good one everyone!

Late night meandering of my very sad brain

God I really hate when I smile sometimes.  I turn into a Blasian girl with no open eyes whatsoever.  Anyway this is what my hair looked like after I took it down from the flexi-rods.  I parted it a bit more than normal and then just finger combed it out.  After a week of stalling I think I'm going to take the job that was offered so I'll be moving sometime over the next few months I guess.  I made a pro and con list and seriously they were dead even really but waiting here hoping one of the other teaching positions comes through seems silly.  If I move when  I think I will I would have been here eight years.  That was partially because I thought I would be teaching another class that got pulled from my schedule at some point yesterday which I seriously wouldn't have minded but my class that just ended saw their upcoming schedule with me on it and will be asking me what happened.  Which I really can't tell them more than I know.  Classes were merged and I was low man on the totem pole.  So I could leave earlier I guess it really just depends on how long it takes me to find a place that I can afford and has enough space for me and mom.

I'm in a funk about leaving though.  I have really good friends and things aren't really spread out and as is my nature I love the kids I've been teaching the last six months since I've had them in a rush.  It was time for this chapter to end I know there's not a lot for me to do save go into private practice which can be feast or famine and even the one interview I had with that hasn't panned out into anything substantial.  And honestly I'm scared.  What if I'm only good at teaching because it's five weeks and not a full semester?  What if I suck when left to my own devices?  What if I hate the area after I get there?  What if that whole missing my family thing sucks more than I think it will?  I mean I miss them desperately now as it is.  And right now I'm really missing my dad.  No move will take care of that but this kind of decision is something I would talk over with him and he would give me great advice and I would take it and everything would be okay.  I haven't been able to have those discussions since 2001 and mom just says do whatever will make you happy and I guess that's the other issue.  Lots of things are making me happy but nothing is keeping me that way.  I'm tired and moody and stressed and afraid and scatter brained.  I jump from job searching to cooking to crocheting (which I haven't picked up since the first night) to working out to adoption.  All of those have given me moments of joy and then I'm back in the valley.  

I incorrectly assumed my life would be about more than work and my hair and trying to shed weight in my late thirties and that's also depressing as hell.  I know it will get better.  Some time after we finish negotiating I'll be happy to see friends.  Figure out how to see my brother before I get moved or after I get settled.  I already know what I need to do to get licensed even though I can't do anything with that until I get there because I can only do part of it in the state.  I wish I was excited.  I think I was excited when I took the job out of internship.  Not about the area so much but about the possibilities.  And I guess those intrigue me now from a different end of the professional spectrum but nearly a decade after the start of my internship I don't feel anymore settled in my professional identity as I did before I got there.

I just feel out of sorts and as such the diet and workout crashed and burned this week.  I'm used to two weeks or longer for job offers to be made and I really have been wanting to get back closer to family.  Those jobs haven't been interested in me the same way I've been interested in them so I guess that means it's not time to be there yet.  I really wish that wasn't the case but a golden opportunity has been handed to me and I really shouldn't keep looking at it like it's trying to bite me in the proverbial butt.  I need to get some where and start my research up again.  I need to really see if my teaching philosophy plays out with traditional age, campus based students.  I need to see if I really can be an asset to a campus when I'm not tethered to a clock in the same way.  I know this can be a good thing I just need to get on with the letting go.

On the upsides: McAfee tech support was free and friendly and surprisingly helpful today.  Took about twenty minutes and a reinstall of the software that started bugging after an update but all is good now.  I watched Snow White and the Hunstman which was better than I thought it would be.  Kristen Stewart almost felt like an afterthought cause she really didn't get to talk all that much.  I'm guessing that will be different in part two since its underway.  Chris Hemsworth oh he's just delicious and Charlize Theron was great as the Evil Queen.  I saw Sparkle a few nights ago, don't know if I mentioned that or not, it has no resemblance to the original movie short of the number of main characters--and that's mostly--and the songs felt decidedly different but the two at the end were quite good.  I used my freegal downloads from the library for those.  If your library has freegal use it.  It's great.

At least my hair is cute lol.  See ya later.

Baby It's 3 AM and I'm Crocheting

First let me give some love to Matchbox 20 for writing a catchy tune that I totally bastardized to give you that blog title.

And yes I know this will say 4AM central time when I post this and it should.  At 3AM when I figured I should make the most of my insomnia I grabbed my Teach Yourself to Crochet kit that I bought in December to well teach myself to crochet.  The book has lovely diagrams that mean nothing to someone who is not use to crocheting or knitting.  The first two videos I watched on youtube gave me some ideas on how to hold my needle and how to make an easy slipknot.  However, they kept getting to the pull and loopy thing in such a way that I was feeling slightly stupid and was getting ready to give up.  Then I found the video below which instead of saying pull over and through said hey pull the left side over the right side and boom got your desired stitch.  NO FREAKING IDEA why that tidbit of information helped out so much but Lord knows without it I'd be ready to figure out how to knit the lovely crimson and cream yarn into something with something as soon as I figured out what it was.  Here's the video. 

I did it enough times that I created a chain but of course I'm super slow right now to get it done right and haven't developed the next stitch.  A tiny bit of accomplishment and no more tolerance for frustration tonight means no mas on the crocheting tonight/today.

I did want to say that the spot is feeling fuzzy like unrelaxed baby afro hair lol.  We'll see how it looks on wash day.  I think that's it for now.

My name is Southern Girl and I'm addicted to the ID channel

Okay folks it's the middle of the night again and I'm hooked watching my favorite channel.  Investigation Discovery was launched a year or two ago and it's like my crack.  If it was on a lower tier on the cable I would save a ton of money (I'd piss mom off too cause her westerns come on this tier lol) but it's not and I can't ween myself off of it.  Sometimes they repackage stories for new shows but they are done well and I love them.  I'm bad hat when I'm really pulled into a story I'll look it up while the show is on to find out what happened.  I mean I know something bad happened--nothing happy is going to come from most of these stories except maybe the killer is captured quickly.  I love it though, it's not even a guilty pleasure it's just pleasure.  I like forensic type shows but no real desire to do that kind of work cause Lord knows I'd get too involved in others and be trying to get folks locked up forever.  This is a safe distance for me lol.  If you're remotely interested in that kind of thing PLEASE check it out but don't blame me if you can't turn it off.

Sorta Book Review--Better Than Good Hair

Sleeping pills can't work when you forget to take them so I'm up again.  It doesn't feel as bad as yesterday morning but that time change is always a bear.  During my last library trip I picked up a few books instead of just cds.  One of the books I was surprised to see was Better Than Good Hair by Nikki Walton or CurlyNikki as most of you know her as.  It's a natural hair care book much like the website with tips, personal stories and just some general expectations of what it's like to be natural.  I didn't grab it because I'm thinking of going natural AT ALL but I figured I would look it over and see if there's anything I could pick up.  Insomnia fit gave me time to look over it and it's a great guide if you are thinking about going natural with a very nice introduction from Kim Wayans.  If you are like me and have no desire to go natural you may not glean much from it. There are no direct product suggestions even though some oils and techniques are recommended.  For the braid/cornrow challenged there are some picture guides that may help.  I'll find out the next time I wash or co wash my hair cause I really can't braid my hair to save my life.  It's full of good information for the natural contingent or those in transition.  Much like the site though the book (at least from what I saw the last time I visited which admittedly was a while ago) isn't geared toward all hair types and could make those not on the natural path feel a little left out.  Having said that I think it's a good addition to the hair care literature for African American women and even contains a section on working with kids and biracial/mutiracial kids and their hair.  If you like CurlyNikki you'll love the book and stories therein and it's only 10 bucks right now on Amazon so good investment for what you are getting back definitely.

Air Drying a Bit Before Roller Time

So of course I've been watching the patch of honor and was slightly shocked to see all this gray hair in the area that I thought was mostly bare.  Looking at the photos from last week evidence was there that there was some hair.  I just have to keep working on it and nursing it back to health.  I remixed and strengthened the oil mix I had used before but stopped.  Still have plenty of Gro-Aut oil to use for a while longer too since I don't use that much per application.

I prepooed for a while, a few hours, with no heat before washing it out after I watched Once Upon a Time and made dinner.  I only deep conditioned for about 20 minutes because it's so late and I want to give my hair a chance to be dry before I need to do anything major tomorrow.  Grades are all in and other than mom throwing her normal I didn't get to go shopping tantrum and my logic is faulty about things that don't matter moment, it's been a nice quiet weekend.  I hope to get back on track with the sleep tonight.  I bought some sleep aid Friday that I hope successfully knocks me out later on after the curlers are in place.

Here's this week's photo and I'll try to keep them up to date each week.  Oh and yeah screw the weigh in for this week.  I went off the rails because my sleep and eating schedule were out of whack entirely.

ADDENDUM....

I closed out this post and then went to detangle my hair.  When I was done with my SECOND comb through I realized I hadn't put in any of my leave ins.  Doh.  I added them all and then did the third comb through--still just a few strands lost there so happy about that.  I managed to roll all my hair on flexirods in less than 20 minutes and hit the damaged spot with oil before putting on my scarf.  All done for the night I think.  I do realized last week that part of my dryness could have been do to lack of my kimmaytube leave in.  Oh well, rectified that tonight.  Now it's time for tv and maybe a late snack.

Randomness of an Insomniac

I turned off my computer at midnight.  I was prepared to go to sleep and enjoy my nightly crazy dreams but yeah that didn't happen.  After an hour or so I gave up and started watching Puss In Boots.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was based on what folks said BUT it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been.  The two cats together funny, everyone else eh could have done without.  After it was over I did my random "let's watch the end of this movie" thing.  Really glad I haven't sat through the entire Think Like a Man movie.  Parts could be endearing but I think I'd rip my eyeballs out if I had to watch the whole thing.  And I realized two things tonight too.  I like Gabrielle Union as a human but as an actress she tends to annoy the piss out of me in EVERYTHING.  And I don't care WHAT Sir Ben Kingsley does I heart him.  If I could have an old royal British stepgrandfather it would so be him.  I'm not sure where he would have met either of my grandmothers but that reality moment is not in keeping with him being in the family.  I was watching the end of the movie I kept wanting to call The Jackal but that's with Bruce Willis.  It was about a cartel leader nicknamed The Jackal but was really called The Assignment.  I've tried to watch John Carter like six times and I just can't pay more attention than a horny teenage boy with free run of his big brother's porn stash.  Ultraviolet wasn't that bad either but I think I like movies in which a skinny woman is the savior of the free world and is also freakishly not human in some way.  I've watched Diane Lane do some horrible acting in a few movies lately but that some how made her more endearing to me lol.    The Kama Sutra: Language of Love movie and The Oxford Murders were good (not staring Diane Lane).  Bitter Feast was creepy but interesting.  Rachel Getting Married was pretty good too.  I've seen most of the last ones all the way through but I was trying to remember another one I saw that I couldn't remember and was trying to tell you the name but it's not on the scroll lol.

The only thing I will say Think Like a Man did for me was make me remember how much I enjoyed living with my ex.  Even with the issues and stress that was perpetual because of his ex, it was nice to have someone to share the load with, make pizza with, watch tv with and rub my back when I was tired and stressed or sad or whatever the hell I was.  There's weird crap on tv right now I swear.  And I'm hungry.  I want a steak or a skewer of shrimp or really particular panini.  I did manage to stop by the store and grab some flavored vodka to use in the cocktail recipes I slammed into my self constructed cookbook lol.  And I put a skirt steak in a garlic marinade that can be cooked later today or tomorrow.  I took my hair down to run to the store and so far spot isn't growing, just maintaining.  I rerolled it since I only used four last night to keep my ends tucked away.  That went smoothly too.  Okay enough rambling.  Gonna finish blog trolling and then try bed again.

Insomnia is totally upping my movie watching

The only upside to having insomnia besides the random cleaning spurts is there are a lot of weird movies on and that some of them keep your attention more than you think they might upon initially reading the info box.  I may have mentioned a few of these before but in no particular order here are some of the random things I've seen because I can't sleep.

Suspect Zero (stars Sir Ben Kingsley and Aaron Eckhart and Carrie Anne Moss) is a movie about serial killers on the surface but it's also about a secret government program that taught men with special skills how to project their thoughts into the minds of those suspected killers in an effort to catch them.  Aaron is a disgraced agent trying to track down Sir Ben after Sir Ben keeps reaching out to him.  Well sort of reaching out to him.  Sir Ben has been driven crazy by the project and instead of helping to catch them is now killing serial killers and believes there's an alpha serial killer (suspect zero) who all other serial killers are either trained by or spawned from and who will never be caught.

The Skin I Live In (stars Antonio Banderas and Elena Anaya) is a movie about well it's just a screwed up movie that is told in various time frames jumping from the present to past randomly.  I seriously couldn't describe the move justice and it is subtitled so don't be surprised by that.  It's fascinating but really creepy. 

Immortals (stars Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Stephen Dorff and Fredo Pinto) was totally kick ass.  It's dark a lot of the movie so that your eyes really do focus on what you can make out what's happening on screen.  On it's face it's an epic hero story as the hero comes to embrace his role.  And don't get me wrong that part is well done and I was embraced by Cavill and Dorff in their respective roles.  BUT OH MY GOD the scenes when the gods show up as themselves and not those shells they use to interact with humans were EPIC.  I am usually not shocked by much or can figure out what's going to happen in a movie which I hate but in this case I totally didn't care and was stunned quite a few times by the visuals and movements of the gods when they made their all too brief appearances.  And hats off to Mickey Rourke for showing he's still fantastic when given a chance to do so.  Oh and Zeus was BEAUTIFUL, so was Cavill as Thesisus.

Recipe Hunting & 10 Reasons I could never be a spy (at least 10)

So once again it's the middle of the night but I'm in a better mood.  My niece had a great birthday and my suggestion of a very simple gift just for her worked out great.  Rock on for great aunt intuition and tomboy nieces.  I really do miss them and I will see them at some point this year after I know exactly what I'm doing.  I'd preferably be in the area permanently but regardless I gotta spend some time with my family.  I keep looking at jobs that would take me even further away than I am now and while I'd like to be employed immediately I don't think I'm willing to move to the coast (and near hurricane areas) just to make that happen.

The last few days I've been sorting through old magazines, cooking things, what not that I kept to look through for recipes.  I've copied the ones I've wanted into a word file for now but still have several dozen to go through and then I can dump those along with some more bridal magazines into the recycle bin for next week.  After all, I'm a very single 37 year old and keeping four year old in some cases (five I think at this point) bridal magazines just seems silly.  I had a big purge of those a while back but still have a stack to sort through.  I've found about 10 I think from main dishes to new ice cream recipes and those will go in my nifty recipe binder.  I'm also gonna add another one from What's Cookin Chicago--Asian spare ribs.  I love the PF Chang knock off but good Lord it's complicated.  If this tastes nearly as good without the work 1) you know I'll tell you and 2) I can have pretty lean ribs more often.  If you have any suggestions let me know, for recipes that is lol.  In my dream kitchen I have a shelf that's just cookbooks that cover any conceivable thing I would like to eat.  Since I'm finicky that's probably not a ton of cookbooks but still they would be there.

Since I'm up in the middle of the night of course I'm watching movies.  I've caught the end of Kill Bill Volume 1 twice now--I really don't understand why they won't play Volume 2 right after so I can get all the vengeful rage out of my system at once.  It's very frustrating.  But as I've been watching a few things occurred to me.  I could never be a spy or an assassin because I'm not equipped with most of the necessary skills with which to do said job. 

1. I'm easily distracted.  Unless I'm hot mad and pissed I really can lose focus in a nanosecond.
2. You can't really be hot mad and pissed as a spy 99 percent of the time, it seems as though that would interfere with the cool detachment necessary to off people and go have lunch later.
3. I've never seen an overweight spy unless it was a fat suit or they had been "retired" and someone was coming after them for some odd reason.
4. I really have no desire to kill anyone, if I could be in the planning side of things maybe but hands dirty just gives me the willies.
5. My hand eye coordination is seriously handicapped.  All that hand to hand combat would probably result in my getting my ass handed to me.
6. I really only know English and can read French but I learned it in Texas so yeah speaking French not a good thing for me.  Besides when do spies need French?  Cantonese, Mandarin, Russian Czech, Polish yes but French ehhh.
7. I'm not sure how well I can do poker face.  I would probably be laughing at the target and get everyone killed.
8. My mother is crazy and would call in the middle of an operation to ask if I could bring home milk.  Even if I didn't answer and she left a message she'd leave an extra long message and forget what she really wanted and I'd know that as the message was being left and just get frustrated and distracted (see point 1).
9. While I love flying, don't spies and assassins seem to end up in the weirdest freaking places?  Paris or Versailles or Rome or Melbourne sign me up.  Krakow, Berat, Bobrov, and Bampar nah I'm good on those.
10. It never seems like spies or assassins get vacations or real lives.  Families could be potential targets, relaxing without weapons could get you killed.  You never know when you might be targeted by your own people.  After all no one really likes to leave someone around who knows were all the secrets are buried.
11. This may sound like a vain one but I'll be sure to counter it with a less vain one soon.  I don't remember any prominent female spies with sizable cleavage.  A respectable B cup yes.  A DDD cup ehh not so much.
12. I think I'm too short.  In addition to being on the thin fit cute girl bra framed size of things the female spies I've seen tend to be at bare minimum 5'6;; and like to run in heels.  I am definitely under 5'6'' and I hate walking in heels let alone running in them.  Running in heels means someone is trying to kill me which in this case I guess would be valid.  But I'm really clumsy and that seems like a bad combination.
13. While I'm a great liar, and I can be when properly motivated, I usually restrict to the books I'm writing though lol, I don't always remember the ones I've concocted in my brain so those long term missions could be a problem.
14. I have just enough disrespect for authority for that whole chain of command thing to be problematic unless I was heading into the Jason Bourne school of spies.
15. There are days I just want to be lazy and let my brain turn off from work and life.  How do you do that when you are killing folks for a living?
16. I really don't like wearing leather or heavy wool coats.  Again could be a stereotype but they are never festively dressed and leather chafes after a while.

I'm sure I could come up with more but that seems like more than enough lol. I really do like the movie though which surprised me when I heard the premise.  And I was kinda pissed it was in two parts but ehh what can you do.  Oh well off to watch Sir Ben Kingsley's version of Sweeney Todd.

I'm a big old ball of emotion right now lol

I've been trying to tend to my edges more cause in the last set of photos I noticed they were breaking a bit more than I wanted them to be.  I still haven't decided on dying my hair or not so I'm not sure if that will happen pre trip.  I keep going back and forth on whether or not it's worth it since I really am okay with the gray but I'm not sure if it does make me look older than I want--I doubt that--or if it's impacting how other people see me on interviews.  I did apply for something local too and I'm diving in head long with the research thing as well.  In a holding pattern for one while we wait to hear back from IRB and we're narrowing down topics in another group.  Really if I could find even a part time gig I really loved things would be fine but I keep going back and forth about finding something now or waiting till the next round of searches are completed it's weird.  I'm sure I'll figure it out but it's confusing.  Hold on potty break.

Yes I'm sure you didn't need to know that but ehh it was in my brain.  Today is officially my youngest niece's third birthday.  I miss her terribly which is why I've been applying for nearly anything moving down near them.  I tried again in vain to get my mother on a plane to visit and I got the same diatribe about my sister in law which I just can't work around anymore.  It made me start crying because my father won't ever meet the girls, even if I was there I'd be busy working so they won't see me as much, and my mother is being a brat about seeing our only other immediate family.  It could also be because I don't have kids of my own the special days with them seem much more salient.  I was literally overjoyed when I got to talk to them a bit on Christmas via skype.  They were cute and happy and talk too much and then stop talking all at once.  I always stress balance to my clients and I swear I never have it in my own life. 

At least mom's doctor visit went well so thank heavens for small graces.  Still not falling asleep but I'm making myself even more irritated so I'm going to sign off now.  Happy Birthday pretty girl.