Working on Me

Working on Me*

This will discuss my music stuff, book stuff and my hopeful weight loss journey.  It may include links to blog entries as they are appropriate as well.  Okay I think I have all the tabs I need right now.

Currently playing:  Lots of stuff but heavy play on Just a Fool from Christina Aguilera's new cd--duet with Blake Shelton--LOVE it

Continue to read: Blogs and cookbooks mostly

May 2013: Have completely fell off on the working out but I do have a new job I'm looking forward to starting.  I read all the Hunger Games books, tried to read A Casual Vacancy, finally watched more things on my Blockbuster queue and am enjoying freegal from the library.  It lets you download a set number of songs a week that the library has access to through the service.  They have a good mix of music even though you won't find everything you are looking for.  However, you can't beat free for that one song that you really don't want to buy from itunes (especially if you're like me and hate all things Apple).  And I'm trying to remember to be thankful and worry less.  I'm better off than a lot of people on earth and things tend to work out even if it takes longer than I want it to initially.  I need to add to my good thoughts jar tonight and quit putting that off.

January 2013: Just finished reading: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel.  Was very insightful about how just being somewhat traditional women can inhibit growth in office settings.  Wasn't really geared for counseling work but I did take some things from it.  And I tried to use some of it on my most recent interview but the whole let's share everything about ourselves with each other still trips me up.

August 2012: A Simple Act of Gratitude by John Kralik.  It's a touching book that challenges everyone to find the things we are grateful for and reach out to the people that give them to us.  I reached out to a friend already and hopefully before bed I can jot down a note for my brother and his family so I can mail it tomorrow along with a gift for the girls.  If you feel stuck, burdened down, in a bad place, whatever phrase you want to use--it could be the best thing you read.  I loved it.

Soon to be reading: Who knows, I keep moving the books around and not reading them

Life reboot: New year has made for new perspective even though this week has thrown it off a bit

Weight loss reboot: Under progress


updated May 11, 2013
updated January 11, 2013
updated August 19, 2012

Weird Stuff

So yeah been having a busy few days. Well emotionally busy anyway.  I think I need to disconnect from some more networks longer than I did.  I was off of one of them most of the day yesterday and it felt better to just be in my head.  And I took a mommy break too which was helpful.  She seemed to get that I needed some space too which helped.  Everyone is right in that I need a more formal break but yeah it's hard to get one that won't put her in a bit of debt which I am trying to avoid in case she really does have to be on her own at some point in the future.  I don't really see that happening in most scenarios but I plan for the what ifs along with reality at the same time.   

I was offered a chance to teach one more class before I leave but I don't know if I'll take it or not.  It would force me to be here until the second week of July which wasn't my plan.  I don't want to be rushing towards unpacking right before my new job starts BUT I could use the check right before I leave.  It's very ill timed actually.  I don't want to be grading papers right before I either drive out or fly out either.  Even though the money from class could pay for tickets.  I'll think it over for the weekend and then let them know on Monday.  

Ego is Bruised and Battered and there are no cute bartenders in my house

I'm tired ladies (and gents--if you visit I'm not sure you do).  I did a quick run to the grocery store so I could start on my hair and haven't touched it since I got home.  Been hanging out on the net and watching tv and arguing about things I'm passionate about which led to a snippy comment from someone I really don't know well but given everything else that has happened today it was just enough to go ahead and shut me down.

You all know, I think you do anyway, that my mother lives with me and has for almost a decade.  When I was on internship I got a frantic call from one of my aunts who said my mother was dying.  I was 28 years old and was confronted with the possibility that before I turned 29 both of my parents would be dead.  We lost my father in May of 2001 so in November of 2004 I was prepared to swear off all holidays and become a hermit.  I managed to make it home and find out that no she wasn't dying but she did have a pretty nasty brain tumor that had to be removed.  Surgery was fine, only one seizure--which is how we found out that she had the tumor in the first place--post surgery and possibility of full recovery.  Well physically she's mostly okay at this point.  She gets tired when she needs to walk too far and using the shopping cart to support her instead of a walker cause that would mean she was old.  Mentally and emotionally though totally different story.  She's my mother so while she drives me crazy I won't put her out but it has taken everything in me some days to not seriously consider her dropping her off at adult day care for a day or twelve.  She does inconsiderate things, flat out rude things and inconceivable things routinely and it has impacted our relationship of course but more than that it has strained her relationship with my brother and sister in law.  Mom doesn't work because of the memory issues she has had post surgery so they want her to visit the grandkids and mom is quite positive my sister in law is just this shy of satan so she refuses to go without me.  Granted I haven't been working lately but yeah kinda have to conserve funds for the move.  I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with what happened today.  I was just trying to give you appropriate back story.

We Are Sparta or at least Sparkly

The title would be totally right sans sparkly if this was 100 posts from now (movie nerd moment there in case you haven't seen 300 go watch it.  Kinda kick ass movie if you like epic battles people have no chance of winning and hot sticky buffed men doing said fighting.  Go ahead and look for a photo, I'll wait.  Told you he was pretty.  You good? Ok let's move on).  However, this is post 200 so not quite right.  Still wanted it to be special though so YEAH post 200.

There is not a lot going on to tell you so here will be some snippets of things that I've garnered over the last 199 posts.

• I'm amazed how much I have learned about my hair and that I still am actually interested in doing anything with it.
• I am also dumbfounded how much I enjoy not using heat on my hair and what I can do with it until like week 10 post and it goes all willy nilly on me.
• There are a lot of people with a similar passion or disturbance as you choose to think about it and they are a great support system to have.
• That I really like food but only some foods but those I can jazz up in a billion and one ways and will continue to do so.
• That I tend to bake in spurts and when I'm really stressed out for some reason.  I then either eat too much or completely ignore it.
• That the weight loss kick comes and goes and I really need a semi lazy trainer to live in one of the spare bedrooms and kick me in the butt.
• Being a grown up with my mother is both painful and hilarious.  It's great when what I suggest works but it's totally a pain when she acts like a four year old that I can't spank.
• There are a lot of funny people that don't talk about hair at all and that's great.
• I suck at flirting.  I've only texted cute guy once and now I think it's too late.
• I may have finally gotten my insomnia under control but my body is seriously only sleeping like six hours unless I force it to go back to sleep.
• I got a new schedule for new job and now it's even more better than it was (at least in my brain) so I am even more in love than I was before.
• We really should be required to have a yearly purge of crap that we no longer need and/or want and/or use because this purge has been fantastic in locating lost things and freeing up a ton of other stuff I really don't need anymore.
• I still have very mixed emotions about my ex.  I can't quite hate him but Lord thinking about him sometimes makes me QUITE PISSED.
• I love sports way more than some women but not enough to start a whole new blog to compete with another blog.
• I love THE VOICE, Adam is so adorable.  Ahhhh Adam Levine.  I'd so convert.
• There was no mouse in the house.  Which is good but I have all these mouse repelling sensors in the house now.  I guess they will move with me.
• So happy the Heat lost tonight, all is right in my universe.
• I'm way more sentimental than I thought I would be.
• I have a ton of pictures I need to sort through Lord.
• I'm getting old lol
• I still have goals to reach in my hair and personal life and those will come to pass too
• Oh yeah Jinxx Monsoon won Drag Race--eat that bitches 
• EDITS cause you know I was gonna think of more stuff after I slept
• I will watch tennis more than most humans I know.  I really really really hate Roger Federer.  He's a great player but he's boring and annoys me.
• I used to, and periodically still do, want to be a sports commentator just so I can say athlete names that are weird.  Tennis is full of them but so is baseball and football.  Really who wouldn't want to say Nomar Garciaparra on a regular basis when you stretch it out all weird.  Or learn how to properly pronounce tennis players names?
• I'm kind of creeped out by all the new cast members on Y&R that used to be on the Nick drama Hollywood Heights.  Especially since two of them were dating on HH and are now siblings on Y&R.
• I really want a huge sloppy burger but have no desire to make it or pay for it right now.  I really wish Chili's delivered lol.
• I have a ton of crafty things I've bought from Hobby Lobby over the years and really need to work on completing any of them.  Well some I can't cause they will always be added to.
• I used to think my family conspired against me with their birthdays (start in March) and random holidays (that don't end until June with a straggler in August). It goes in order, Mom's birthday, Mother's Day, brother's birthday, Father's Day, his wedding anniversary and my SIL's birthday.  My nieces have birthdays in February and October but they are cute and had no control over that (yes I realize the others didn't either) so they don't get included in the conspiracy.
• I really hope Andy Murray loses this match cause I hate him too but for totally different reasons.
• K enough again for now.

I may edit some more but right now I think that's enough.  

So in our daily dose of random..

I have been doing these longer drying times with my hair the last two weeks.  I let the hair totally dry without doing a thing to it and then hit it with my leave ins and detangle and style.  Surprisingly it seems as though I've lost less hair doing it this way which is a win for me and my hair seems to take less time drying the second time after it's set.  The other thing I've noticed is my hair is BUSHY at the roots with nothing on it.  It's not a good example of where my hair would be if I chopped it all off but woo it's thick.  And don't worry I'm not in a rush to do more than snip the ends.  It's taken almost two years to get it from my ears/neck and thinned out to my shoulders and much thicker.  I'm debating what to do with it before I leave as I try to find a hairdresser where I'm moving to.  And if it keeps holding up I think the upcoming relaxer planned for the end of this month will be pushed to June.  Maybe first week of June just in case we decide to braid it up for that transition time.  Who knows, I'll talk to my hairdresser about that.  I am so gonna miss her, she's a good friend and great stylist.  Ahh growing pains.

While I was mid drying time I had to run out and grab some things for mom and get a present for my nieces weighed at the post office so I could mail it to them along with mom's presents for them.  I should go there more often when I'm looking a hot mess (to me anyway).  In what has to be randomness squared whenever I head to the post office and I'm not looking my best and am feeling kinda frazzled I get hit on.  Unlike normal however, this guy was cute and younger.  If he hadn't been smoking and I had shaved my legs this millenia I may have hopped on in his car and hung out for the rest of the day.  Instead I took his number and may call him today or tomorrow.  He was adorable and our names would provide a total sing songy thing.  Yes I normally hate that on other people but he got a cute pass lol.

Okay off to finish doing nothing and downsizing things for the move when I get motivated to do so.  Have a great day everyone.


And just because I forgot to add it during the first post here's the list of blogs participating in the Creative Girl blogging challenge.

Life's a Blur and then you collapse

I have been all kind of sluggish and busy the last few weeks so I should update you on what has been going on.  Short of washing my hair I had nothing major on my proverbial agenda.  Just watching the money to make sure the old lady and I don't get kicked out prematurely.  Don't worry we won't but I'm the one that worries about these things because my mother does not.  After a talk with my brother yesterday I realized that we both do and again I think it's because my mother didn't.  Neither one of us shop for sport.  We try to save where we can, we rarely indulge and we're pretty practical. Not bad things to get from a parent I get but we got them because of her not from her which seems different.  And another common refrain from our childhood resurfaced in that while my mother provided the financial support the person who raised my brother was me.  He's right unfortunately.  I helped with the homework, got him to school, signed off on assignments because mom wouldn't or didn't, and when I was leaving for college understanding he was a bit of a dumbass with dumbass friends made sure he went to live with my father who was thrilled to have him and there was much less opportunity for dumbassery.  It all worked out for the best for everyone but mom who 20 years post is still a bit bitter about that whole thing.  As they say though your reality is largely based on your memory and hers is sketchy about these things.

Okay that went totally off tangent, I didn't have much to do.  I'm still hunting for a house for the move but I did secure movers at a decent rate and we're moving full steam ahead towards a garage sale/purging of old baggage.  It's odd tossing things away, what to keep, what isn't important, what did you bother to get that for in the first place.  I have clothes to donate, books and cookbooks to sale and magazines to recycle or toss.  I'm not done with one closet so more will be leaving my sphere but it feels good to unburden some of these things from my life.  In that vein I was reading a book one of my sorority sisters recommended called 7 an experimental mutiny against excess by Jen Hatmaker.  Especially at this moment it seem apropos to read but turns out I don't really do excess as it is.  I keep clothes until they kinda come unraveled, I have maybe 15 pairs of shoes but I routinely only wear a few pair, and books are my real only major indulgence.  Nonetheless I'm still clearing out even if the book didn't inspire me to do so.  Mom can take a few pieces, the rest will go to shelters or donation centers.  Heck I'm even getting rid of old movies I know we don't watch or need.  It feels good to really downsize for some reason.  In the next two months I'll work on shedding as much as I can.  Maybe I can move into new digs even more in a sense of who I am and what I want.

Blogging Challenge

I've been in a bit of a writing funk lately.  Not sure how much you care about my impending (getting more stressful) move or the no longer hunt for a job.  And my hair is well my hair.  It's growing--good thing--and feels thick as all creation--also good but yeah it's messing with my timeline for the next relaxer.  Anyhoo after reading with much glee all the posts last month on Kellie's blog (click here for giggles) I figured I'd look for one to enter for the month of May.  Yeah I got lazy but thankfully the Blogger like Me group on FB turned me on to this one and even MORE better as I signed up I was entry 75 which is the year I was born so yeah me lol.  It's being sponsored by Creative Girl Media.  The photo has information about the requirements if you want to join as well.  Click the photo to get the page.  I'm in the middle of doing my hair so I'll be back tonight or tomorrow with more of an actual update on life.

Baby It's 10 AM & I haven't slept again

This insomnia is so annoying.  I sleep great for a few days and then boom back in the middle of not sleeping fits.  And then I get tired in the middle of the day and if I fall asleep I'm not waking up until dinner time which just continues the overnight wakefulness crap.  Anyhoo, it's given me a good chance to read a bunch of blogs and watch more weird movies.  I tried to read A Casual Vacancy because the dusk jacket seemed very interesting.  Couldn't make it a page in before I got bored and it could have been because I was all read out after speeding through all the Hunger Games books.  Review of those will be posted in here cause yeah I keep forgetting.

In preparation for the move, we've been cleaning and dumping things.  I swear I saw mouse poop in a corner but haven't seen a mouse.  While I will stomp a bug in a heart beat, furry things that move but shouldn't be in my house creep me out.  I'm using a bunch of trap free repelling things right now even though I did buy traps I just don't want to use them.  I don't want the little rodent to die I just want it to leave before I do.  Oh and mom is on a tear with sorting things to keep and sell and has found a bunch of old things that I really thought were lost.  Like this bedspread that she made for me when I was like 6 or 7.  She couldn't find Orange Blossom who was my favorite and she didn't really like the ones that were available in the other characters so she really did outfit my poster bed with valances, dust ruffles and the aforementioned bedspread.  It's a little too beat up for me to hop I can use with my own daughter one day but I'm going to try to have the center salvaged and made into a center piece of a blanket.  Isn't it cute?  Okay gonna go back to surfing the net and looking at things I'm sorting through (oh yeah and prepooing my hair).  Book review is after the jump.