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September 15, 2012

Absolutely Nothing to Do With Hair

So I was being a sad sack earlier.  I've been feeling moody randomly as I've mentioned before and I think it finally dawned on me tonight what the issue is.  And I have to give my mom credit for it because laughing with her about the Stevie Wonder episode of the Cosby Show made me just smile.  So work has been very up and down again as I've mentioned.  The days I've loved it the most were days I saw all of, or 80 percent, of my clients.  I felt productive and like things were going well.  When I can only see three or four no matter how much time I put in that drives me nuts.  And really it's because I'm one of those odd type A people.  I've been in chronic overachiever kid mode since elementary school.  From the age of four, mom lobbied to get me into school before my 5th birthday cause I had a late birthday lol, until earlier this summer I've had maybe a few months of downtime that may at this point as I'm nearing 37 total a full year of life.  I've been working, taking summer classes, in school, teaching, seeing clients, working on research, studying for licensing exams, working, taking care of my mom, uhhh you get the idea.  The more time I mentally took over the last year to take care of me the more I checked out of a job that was killing my spirit.  Wasn't totally the job's fault.  I had made me life the job and was starting to do that again now.  I think part of why I want to stay here is that I think with the right job I may be doing the same work load but will be able to reconnect to the rest of my life.  It's not the greatest place ever but my commute is negligible, I love my sorority sisters, and if I can stop stressing a bit I might actually get the yard looking the way I want it to.  Granted I may just be trying to stay here because my military brat must move gene has finally become dormant or I'm afraid of what awaits me somewhere else but I would like a year or two to operate in a different gear.  I found it extra ironic that I'm always preaching to clients about balance and I have so not taken that to heart in my own life.  Tomorrow is wash day hopefully.  I may throw on my length check t-shirt to see where my hair is on it now since I'm a few weeks post fresh perm and wouldn't have to flat iron it.  Ok back to my random obsession with Hollywood Heights.  OMG yesterday's episode was out of control.  And the synopsis for the next week provides no resolution to it.  Dang it.  Anyhoo, I'm off for now.  And if anyone has any ideas or restoring balance to a completely unbalanced life let me know.

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